Whenever I start writing about something all the ways in which I don't embody what I write shows up. I don't live in the airy fairy world of disembodied spirits. So for example my neighbors and I share the same floor and the woman has a very heavy foot and I get irritated with that. Then I write a story about how trashy they are, how her voice could grate diamonds and you can smell them a block away, blah, blah. Irritation, okay. Story, not okay. What I mean is that something is happening and I am having a feeling. Feeling moves until we write a story or form a judgement about it. If it is not happening in that moment it is a story and often the story holds a judgement about right/wrong, good or bad. Our judgement ensures the entrapment of the energy which will eventually take form as events and body consciousness if it is not in alignment with the flow of spiritual energy/prana into the body it creates disharmony. So here I am writing about judgement and now everything I judge shows up. Our judgement becomes our intention and eventually our creation. The girl next door may as well be a big footed Godzilla. My time in the forest is riddled with what I say are disrespectful people. So this is another way of saying, what I pay attention to often is my experience. I am already paying for my remarks about the neighbors and still I write this. I know better. What exactly do I accomplish by proving they are like my clever stories about how unconscious they are? Whether what I am saying is true or not doesn't really matter. If I put my energy into it, it is likely I will experience more of it. Why don't I choose myself over the need to be right, above, better than? Because I have been trained to be dis-empowered and not to use my energy appropriately. I am the one choosing this hell. Judgement stops the flow of energy in unity and holds us in duality. The more we Judge the harder it gets until lets say the density of the belief is Rock Hard. Being a Rock has great value if you are a mountain but could be a hindrance when we are working on getting clear or becoming enlightened. Really it would be so much easier if I didn't make it personal.
The denser it is the more deeply embedded in physical reality. What is physical reality? We know this, thought and beliefs make up physical reality. So the denser it is the greater the focus and energy behind it, the more embedded in the physical. My 'being', who I am at this moment is grounded in the fifth dimensional reality and living in the 3D world. Actually we are living in many dimensions and our focus right now is grounding all levels/dimensions of ourself to the 5th dimension. The fifth dimension is activated through the sacred heart, the high heart. The high heart is activated when the heart and throat chakra are unified. Our true hearts desire becomes the expression of who we are. 3D and Duality are different things. The 3rd Dimension is physical reality. Duality is based, at least in part, on Judgement and can be played out in many dimensions. Judgement is a key ingredient in duality. The release of Judgement to Choice is one of the keys to freedom. So if you are about living la vida loca duality is fine but if you want to experience freedom you gotta go 5D where life is based on choice is, not Judgement and when you judge you go right back to duality and open yourself up to duality stuff. This is why few people choose the path of self mastery it is not so easy to do.
I hear New Age folks talk about the higher path and being of service and how certain acts of selflessness will yield states of enlightenment and exaltation. There is no doubt that helping others is wonderful on many levels including our own evolution. I tend to feel that the key that turns the lock is expressing our own personal gifts. So I find the selfless part confusing. You have to fill yourself first always. It just doesn't feel right and it does not add up. Where is personal meaning and purpose in this? We are not random. We are loved and the god within us wants to fulfill our wildest dreams and if we will just allow it to be it will be. But if you give yourself up for something that your head thinks is right your just not a clear channel for yourself. What doe you even have to give if it is not uniquely you. What if your dream is just for you and the God within. Your judgement is not going to get you where you need to go. Paradox you can choose it. I say paradox because choice is 5D and Judgement Duality. Choose yourself. Follow your heart not someone else s. There is no higher or better. Higher and better is duality. Duality is prison. To me, it is prison. Taking the higher road because it is better than is Judgement. Taking your own personal better road engages your feelings not your idea of good/bad, right or wrong. Can we let go of being right, of being better than, of being higher? Can we let go of the stories in order to free ourselves? Can you put freedom before anything? Can you put yourself and your path to union, to freedom before the need to be better than, higher and to belong? Follow your inner voice, your godself, feel your way through. You will get the hang of it. Creating what you want while following your heart and being of service if it is right and in the way that is right for you and the timing that is right for you. You gotta feel your way through.
If we give ourselves up to another persons doctrine instead of just being a student and observing and taking what belongs only to you, you enter that persons program. You came here to realize yourself to live the program of your choice. So if it resonates great, there are many beings who hold pieces to our puzzles. But we put the puzzle pieces together. Use it while it serves you and when it doesn't take your piece and let the rest go. The other persons path is not wrong it simply does not fit your next step. It is your world, your path. Do we work together? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. This is living. I personally do not choose to move into another persons doctrine or program and I do not choose to place myself above others. I also do not choose to make myself small or put myself out there when it doesn't feel right. My heart centered feelings are the inner compass. My heart is wiser than my judgement. By all means walk beside others. Learn, grow and enrich yourself.
Personally, I did all these ceremonies in the 90's and beyond. I was really into it and it was what I was my calling, without a question even though another person was bringing this all through it was part of my path and hugely important to my evolution and the planets evolution. The 2nd and 5th gate were particularly powerful for me. My life intertwined many other peoples but my personal experiences were my own and largely influenced the next 20 years of my life. What I learned and what I now embody as a result of those experiences belong wholly to me and who I am, not to the space-holders. Just as I am not responsible for the path of those I assist or even what they get from me. The second you put something out there you have to be willing to embody it. It is the way it works. So it took me some 20 years to embody what the ceremonies brought through, what I brought through those veils. Many, many of the people who took part in those ceremonies died in the last few years or they had healing crisis and made it through. The doorway for these ceremonies is about 20 years. Had I not learned in life that I am not a victim and decided to take full responsibility for myself and everything happening in it, past, present and future, I would not have the awareness that I do now and I would never have succeeded in my goals. Okay, Judgement. Unlearning Judgement, not easy. Don't Judge yourself or others if you can and if you do don't judge yourself. Try to observe. Don't put someone above you. I had a tendency to give my teachers the credit. They didn't even know me or what was happening or the power that these experiences held for me. I put them above me and gave them credit for my accomplishments. Above is judgement. I can't own who I am if I am putting myself and my accomplishments outside of me. Sure, be humble and give credits to others but own what you are even if and especially if, it differs from what you were taught or what you think people will be able to handle. You judge others and create a predisposition when you assume they can't handle what you say. So trust your feeling about what to share and who to share it with, it knows.
Okay, a little more on this because it may help you understand why you can't feel things all the way through. I have had my challenges, I couldn't figure out what it was that was preventing me from allowing my life to be fully my 'own'. I had to realize that I and I alone was responsible for myself and my life, how to deprogram what was not of the highest and best for my personal path and how to create my reality. Internally I was crediting everyone else with what I accomplished and made up stories of their benevolence and they may not have even known anything about it or had much to do with it. Everything outside was given credit and everything inside me was blamed for what was going on. I may have known I had the right to emanate my own frequency but couldn't do it until I transcended the results of my early childhood and because feeling is a huge part of creation and I just didn't feel it fully until now. So I have been aware of and working on unraveling the body mind for a long time and trying to put it into a coherent form. I am still working on the embodiment aspect.
Most of my life I did not realize that I had choice in any area of my life. Other people chose for me. This is a survival instinct we all have trying to determine if our environment is safe and to fit in. I thought way different than the people around me and I could never figure out how to maneuver in other peoples truths. I was misunderstood and severely ridiculed as a child. I was not allowed, at least when I was with my family, to express any aspect of myself without abuse. This caused me to try to predict what others thought so that I would know what to do. I was allowed, at least in my parents house to express my self through dress and academics. Otherwise, I was a victim to my reality and the environment that I lived in and the doctrines that overshadowed everything. I tried to figure out how to live peaceably in that reality and longed for a 'real' life until at age 26 I was abruptly awakened by an experience that showed me that nothing I had been taught was, 'real'.
As my embodied beliefs unraveled and I sat at the crack between the worlds, all that I had been in this life was gone. I sat in the mind of God and all that I had ever questioned was now known. I knew everything I wanted to know and none of what I had learned up to that point in my embodied reality was true. This induced a kind of Shock. When my molecular body returned so did my duality based body knowing. Unequivocally, what I now knew was true and but I was still in a body whose consciousness had been built upon the world I had lived in for 26 years. I was working in insurance as a claims manager, and was being groomed for more. I was planning my wedding to wonderful man who I loved dearly. We were looking for a house to buy and none that had a foundation in what I now knew. I felt a little crazy each time I felt my body beliefs and what I now knew clashed. I knew I had to get my body programming to catch up with the spark of the divine that now lived within me.'
In order to get into the mother board I had to release any and all judgement. I am not saying that this is has to be hard but it was hard for me. For one thing, I didn't know I was at choice, that realization came much later or at least the awareness that I wasn't came. I didn't know how to change it or deprogram it at that time. So when I had this experience I was alone, of course, and when I expressed it I was ridiculed and told I was crazy. Even though I knew it was real I had to get the body mind to unlearn and embody my knowing and I this was hard because I had this underlying belief that I had no right to think or choose for myself and if I did try to do anything without other peoples approval, I had that great sense of not belonging, not being safe (I really wasn't safe most of my life), that I would be abandoned (the real me was already abandoned), that I would be hurt, that everything would be taken from me, blah, blah, blah, and still I could not abandon myself. I could not live this farce.
So I took it step by step for about 7 years until the awareness in my body mind caught up to my knowing. The embodiment aspect came later. Judgement of myself or others created separation, resistance and made me feel a bit crazy so I had to let that go. What I know now is that if I am in judgement good, bad or otherwise, I can't get into the motherboard. The Motherboard does not exist in Duality. The Motherboard exists in Nature and is not Judgement oriented but feeling oriented. The motherboard simply creates the vehicle that you choose. How do you choose? Through your heart, through your feelings, and through your intent. Yes you get to choose. When a resonance is created between our intent, our heart (feeling) and our e-motion (energy in motion) we can move forward together, so be it. It is so.
In order to be at choice you have to go to where the goods are. Our physical reality is made up of thoughts and beliefs that take on form (devic structure). Thoughts and Beliefs make up your reality, the material that reality is formed from is like clay it has the form that its creator gives it or it remains in its natural state. If you want to change the program you have to vibrate at the level of the clay, kind of formless matter, and then inform it. In order to get something that has structure in your reality to change form you have to inform it. Yelling at it, making it wrong, ugly or writing a story about it only adds energy to the form you wish to change. The same is true if you really love something and you are holding onto it, this is fear. If the energy is not allowed to morph because you are hanging onto a story about or you feel that it (the object, person or condition) is the source of whatever you are experiencing giving your power, your personal creative ability to a condition and not the source of it, you. This too is a form of judgment. The outside condition is merely a reflection of your conscious and unconscious choice, what you have given your attention to in the past. So here you are, what do you do now.
You do your work. Go within identify your blocks and set new intentions. Command your reality. Through our Intent we can restructure our reality in the way that we choose. If we do not make our own choices we have not lived the life that we have been given and we will not reach our personal potential or learn to respect our self and who we are. We are I AM or I AM not.
Accept what is. What is, is.
Release Judgement. Allow it to be, be where you are, feel what you feel. (In prayer this is kind of a letting go and letting God move through you or the circumstances you are in. It is a kind of state of surrender to the higher power within).
Clearly state what you wish to create. (Health, wellness, security, freedom, abundance, finances, friendships, peace, harmony, love). Try to be positive, loving and grateful. The garden grown in love bears a nice vibrational fruit. It feels good. Love what you are creating and it will feel good to you.
Pay attention to it. Give it your e-motion. Energy in motion.
Let it go.
I would love to share more about how to release and yet some of this requires personal interaction and your own personal experience with processes and you may have your own techniques. My doctrine is the doctrine of Self Realization, Self Mastery and these are simply the loose steps to achieve this, and choice according to my personal experience. My only goal is to empower you to know who you are and make your own choices, to get yourself free. We don't have to live in a prison reality and we don't have to be slaves. We have the power.
Written by Amorandre'a 04/09/16. Do not use in part or whole without credit to the author and a link to this website lillithlives.org . If you would like to subscribe please write me at firstname.lastname@example.org and leave your email information and please share with your friends who you think will enjoy. Also, sessions are available to assist through the process of Self Mastery and the Sacred Marriage just hit the Menu button and select Evolutionary Services for more information. Thanks for reading.