So let me ask you, "Does your life have purpose?". I guess we can all assume that if we are here, it has purpose. We chose this on some level. Really? Because this all seems like a lot of shit to me. What possible purpose does slavery have. I mean I guess we learn about respect, kindness, the bullshit truth, but come on, do we not get this yet. Even the worst of us, if we knew we were safe and cared for would not hurt others or limit their rights if religion was not involved. Lets' go through it over and over and over again, ad nauseum, Hey. while we are at it, why not bully everyone so we can feel safe. After all, we are always in danger... Come on, when are we going to grow up because I am so sick of this reality bite. Truthfully, I do believe most of us just want to live. But no one knows how to show up anymore, There are not knights. There are no saints. Just a bunch of big fat egos and people trying to defend their little plots of dirt and relatives. There is nothing real here anymore. Everything has the bullshit untruths of our manipulation in it. Really! Are you living your purpose? Come on! Tell the truth! Does this feel good to you? Are you angry? Because you should be! We are not living! We only exist! Please! Can we admit this is not okay and stop buying into the Shite!
Honestly, I really get the impetus to anesthetize. Sex, drugs and rock and roll baby! Lets' rebel and not do anything constructive at the same time. Because, we don't have any power. Everything is all set up already and we just have to go with it, fit into it. Well in my experience that is pretty much true until you actually master yourself. Which it seems to me is the only way out of this mess. Lest we sell an aspect of our soul on some level or become the popular guru how are we going to get along in this reality. It does appear that there are a lucky few who seem to slip through the gates of this hell and find freedom but I don't know them. I am not so sure that they make it, really make it without the rest of us. It may or may not be true that we are all in this together. So I do admit I need help and though I speak I know nothing except my own perceptions. And I have to ask myself why would I choose this? Who would?
As I see it, me, almost everyone is living in an illusory world and not fulfilling their purpose. We think if we get a little money we'll be able to do this and that and we get a tiny piece here and there. I mean I teach self mastery. I do healing work and truth be told what I accomplish really depends on you and what your thoughts and beliefs will allow to happen. I mean most people will suspend their beliefs at least temporarily and allow temporary results or progressive results. Occasionally something miraculous will happen and I know that the life changing opening happens frequently but only when there is a significant shift in consciousness. The other thing is that in visible reality my finances have in the past been limited. I know I have had underlying beliefs that did not support my way out of poverty and that I sometimes allow my observations to take precedence over the mastery of my creative abilities. And I am also frequently in my mastery. So I see things are shifting no matter how it appears. I can feel it. Many of you can feel it now. It is a mass shift. So why am I talking about all of this. Well not being supported if we live outside the slave system is deeply embedded in our DNA and while anesthetizing helps ease the pain it doesn't set us free and I am obsessed with FREEDOM! The number one reason we don't live our Purpose? Survival. We don't think we can survive outside the system. I may not have fully mastered the money thing (at least until now or maybe sharing helps me move forward) but I did give the big heave ho to the world of slavery and I can not compromise myself. Has it been an easy transition? Not really.
I could have made a ton of cash if I wanted to live up to the 'spiritual model' that people want to see. I just refuse to be what someone else thinks I should be. By the way I don't judge myself for my journey. This is where I have been. So for whatever reason I have not even had the tools to do anything other than survive for many years, could be eons. In December I received a small amount of money that afforded me this website and my computer and I started writing. I love to write. I love to express myself in lots of ways. I love to help others bring out who they are and their gifts. I love it. It is my purpose and the grander and greater my ability to do this, the happier I am. There is nothing that will ever stop me from being me. It really can't be done. We have history and it doesn't just disappear because patterning is in place. That being said, nearly everyone is repressed and limited by their very manipulated beliefs. Some, sadly do not know they are in a program but I believe most people know they are compromising their selves. There was a time when I did not know who I was and I didn't feel that I had any right to express any part of myself. A part of me screamed up at me from some forgotten dirt cobwebbed basement and said, "Let me out of here!" This literally happened when I was driving home from my job as an insurance manager one day in the early 90s about 6 years after my 'Spiritual' awakening. I wondered who this little girl who perceived to be sitting on a stool in a filthy, cobweb infested, dirt floored basement was? Who was she? What did she want? Why was she in the cellar? Well the answer was kind of obvious. She was a part of me that I suppressed.
So how do I let her out? This took some self examination and hard work. You have to go with in and take a look at what is motivating you. Learn how to listen to your inner voice, to how you really feel. It can be so confusing to listen to your feelings at first. Honestly I have been so lost that a tear did not escape my eyes for years at a time. You gotta learn to allow yourself to feel and not argue with them. Confusion only happens when we are traumatized or when our mind argues with our feelings. We have taught to question everything with the right and wrong program instead of the right for me or wrong for me one. Your feelings are your filter, your guide. Inspiration without a story of why you can't do it or why it is wrong feels good. Breath it in suspend the story. This opens you to the moment and true salvation by everything within in you that is rooting for you and wants you to do well and be happy. There has to be an opening for your creator to move through. Allow yourself to be transformed by being open to it. Little by little or all at once your life will transform.
We all have a purpose. We all have passion. We all, well most of us, have had to bury parts of ourselves to survive. I guess the question we all need answered. How will I survive? The only answer I have is one step at a time. It seems like a lot to give up. The world where we know the rules and that, truth be told, will turn on you in when you don't serve their purpose or they can hire someone cheaper. We all want to take care of ourselves and our families. What is the answer? What do I tell you? It is the Heroes Journey to live from the heart. The only safety I know came from allowing my creator to create, by letting go of my control. I know nothing. That is the truth. I know nothing. I can only trust. I can only have faith. I can only continue to do my work, to follow my feelings and allow myself to be inspired and to love. That is all I got. Love. I won't judge you for not following your heart. I get it. How hard it is. Either way it is hard. If we stay in the program or let it go. Our lessons are our lessons. Learning to 'be' who you are and accept who you are at least affords you true love and acceptance and a signpost that says, "I lived, I really lived". It doesn't have to be pretty. The search for love rarely is and I guess that is what this journey is about, to be loved, to be valued and to love and value others. What is your purpose?
Well a flower is a flower and you are a creator god with your own unique imprint. You are a work in progress. So wherever you are and whatever you are doing in this ever evolving picture is your purpose. We are supposed to have a little angst. What else would propel to expand, to explore and to really live? One last time. Follow your feelings. :).
Written by Amorandre'a 04/27/16. Do not use in part or whole without credit to the author and a link to this website lillithlives.org . If you would like to subscribe please write me at firstname.lastname@example.org and leave your email information and please share with your friends who you think will enjoy. Also, sessions are available to assist through the process of Self Mastery and the Sacred Marriage just hit the Menu button and select Evolutionary Services for more information. Thanks for reading.