She walks in beauty, like the night
of Cloudless climbs and Starry Skies
And all that is best of dark and bright
meet in her aspect and in her eyes
Oh, who am I kidding. ... She stomps with furry from the dark and kicks the wall as there is no light. She screams and yells and ....
Somehow the gaping wound that I am is showing and I can't hide it. I can't keep my mouth shut and I am not diplomatic and I seem duplicitous even to me. I need peace, I need sleep, I need respect and I need to be safe. Is is possible to feel loved and supported? No one is here to hear me. The ones who do hear me are scaring me. I am afraid, frozen, alone and I don't know what to do but I do know I don't want to be here anymore.... with them.... I know this is big, what I am releasing from my body, and I know I could handle it all more eloquently, with more grace, awareness, kindness and most of all I could have use my words. But that is only happening part of time. So I have to forgive myself for being awkward and confused and in my wound. I have to forgive myself for looking like a fool for fighting against injustice instead of speaking intelligently while I was trying to heal from what was still in my face.
It is not a pretty ride. Be gentle with yourself. So you are not perfect. Forgive yourself. It is a lot. What we are doing is a lot. Forgive. Have boundaries. Know your boundaries. Speak with or without Grace and forgive as often as possible.
It ain't pretty. It is a bloody mess and a beautiful blessed event... This too shall pass and the marriage of 2 worlds will be ap-parent in me.
Written by Amorandre'a 06/03/17. Do not use in part or whole without credit to the author and a link to this website lillithlives.org . If you would like to subscribe please write me at firstname.lastname@example.org and leave your email information and please share with your friends who you think will enjoy. Sessions are available to assist through the process of Self Mastery and the Sacred Marriage just hit the Menu button and select Evolutionary Services for more information. Should you find what I am offering valuable and feel inspired to donate it may be done through Pay Pal Send Money Online. Just google pay pal send money online and follow the links. It is secure and easy. email@example.com is the where the payment goes to. Thanks for reading.