We can build walls that say you made this mistake, you didn't adhere to the rules. You didn't stay in corporate america and play the game. You didn't capitalize the word america and put it before your soul. You became poor because of this and you expect us to pay for it and therefore I look down upon you. Or, you think you are better than us because you remind me that I have not done the same. You make me feel less than because I can not look at myself and every time you say something that I don't believe I get angry. I push you away and I make it impossible for you to live in my world because I don't want to look at the places where I may have lost my soul.
Good God don't express that feeling, don't talk about that. It makes me uncomfortable, and my friends and family too. "How dare you talk about that." "What is wrong with you?" "You always do that." "Why can't you be normal?" "Why don't you die?" "Why don't you just leave?" I like to make you look crazy and weird by making up stories about you or ridiculing you. I am so insecure with myself that I will not send you business no matter what a good job you do. You are a human stain. I don't like what you believe so I will hurt you and lie about you until you become bitter and become what I say you are.
This is the world of duality. You want it? It is yours. Enjoy it. I won't live in it.
This will teach you, ridicule, unkindness, exclusion, inability to 'be' to exist on any 'real' level. Maybe it will teach you how to leave this world. Maybe you will get your soul back and rise up into your heart and merge with the divine and become who you are. Maybe you won't survive the trials. Maybe the pain of separation from those you have loved and thought loved you, the betrayal from everyone you know will bury you. Maybe you will finally understand Love. Maybe you will come to know that you can not Love until you own your Sol and your own Heart, that part of you that is Natural. You don't really exist until you won't betray yourself for the approval of others, or cash, or any kind of betrayal to your heart, to your true Nature. This is duality.
I don't believe anyone wants this. Yes, we need to know contrast. Yes, we need awareness and it is impossible to know who we are without it, but for me folks, the buck stops here. We are people with Sols if we choose to have that. You know what I value, your Sol, that which makes you shine, makes you unique, gives you a different perspective and makes alive. If yout dream is to open a bar, to look good, to make money, great, but is your Sol in that? Is that your purpose? Are you benefiting yourself or anyone else, really? Maybe, maybe not, but if your Sol is not there, neither are you and it is hollow, without true value, in my opinion of course.
I said my Peace. I built my wall to keep you out. All you gotta do to be in my world is get a Sol. You know what happens when you let go of what you were taught and what every one told you and you believe? You become free. And then you get to create from your heart something that is real.
Written by Amorandre'a 01/08/19. Do not use in part or whole without credit and permission from the author and a link to this website lillithlives.org . If you would like to subscribe please write me at firstname.lastname@example.org and leave your email information and please share with your friends who you think will enjoy. Many of the blogs are updated after being published this is just how my process works as things evolve and come into focus.
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